The Pros and Cons Of Silence
by Happy for Deep People
Summary: Dwayne AKA "Silent Bob" Gets coffee. But any fool can tell he's lonely... Oneshot, Dwayne/ OC. Not exactly fluffy but... Oh just read!


**I Love this Film!!**

**I own nothing, sadly **

_There are pros and cons to silence_, thought Dwayne.

At the moment his favourite pro was how he could stare at the pretty red-haired waitress for as long as he wanted. The con was that he had no way of telling the pretty waitress his order. Or how beautiful she was... asking her out... proposing...

God, he needed to get some.

"I'll be with you in a second!" The red head was talking to him. She still had her back to him, doing one of those mysterious things with a coffee machine that only seasoned baristas seem to understand.

_How did you know I was here?_ Dwayne scribbled on the pad, when she finally turned back.

"Sixth sense. My brother's deaf so I've grown up with silent people. It also means I can understand sign language, you needn't bother with the pad!"

She had a lovely smile. With sweet dimples at the corners – and her red hair was in tight corkscrew curls which obviously had nothing to do with a curling iron.

That was the other thing about silence – it made you appreciate your other senses more.

Dwayne realised she was signing now and quickly shook his head, scribbling on the pad again:

_Not deaf. Vow of silence._

"Huh. May I ask why?"

_Long story. Too long to tell in a line for Coffee._

"Fair enough. What do you want... Dwayne right?"

_Americano. How'd you know my name... Sixth sense again?_

She giggled. "It's written on the cover of the pad."

Dwayne sighed. And it had been going so well.

_I'm a dork_.

"Nuh-uh! Well kinda... But..." the red head blushed. " I think you're cute."

_Hah made you blush :P. But you're kidding. No chick finds "Silent Bob" cute._

"Silent Bob?"

Dwayne felt drunk – though he'd never knowingly been drunk he had a good imagination. (Pro).

This girl was the first – the _only_ girl to laugh with, rather than at him. And he was flirting! If there was one thing Dwayne Hoover never did it was flirt – although to be fair he didn't do a lot... Perhaps it was time to start a new way of life.

_Simpsons reference. Uncultured child *TUT*._

Little red giggled again. "I'm sorry I just have this thing called a life. You really oughta get one..."

_Ouch._

"Just kidding."

_I know ;)._

Oh God did he just do the wink face? The mark of an imbecile. But She didn't seem to mind. Dwayne realised suddenly that She was becoming capitalised in his mind – like saying God (and that disturbingly, even his thoughts were beginning to take written form).

A middle aged man, paunchy of stomach and balding of head pushed in front of him, shouting out, "Hey kid move it along! You're holdin' up the line!"

Con: People under vows of silence couldn't answer pushy bastards like that guy back.

_Better move along._

"I'll bring the coffee over." She smiled that dimpled smile again.

The redhead brought the coffee over to his table – secluded, near a back door through which he could escape if someone too loud or obnoxious came in. Back door leading onto an alley. Typical Dwayne-ish hideout.

The Americano came, and the redhead went, too fast for Dwayne to grab his pad. He kicked the table, not too hard, just enough to vent some of that frustration that came from silence: con.

Idly he turned over a napkin while his coffee cooled to a drinkable degree. And there it was, in neat blue handwriting. Her message.

_Dwayne –_

_My name's Sarah but my friends call me Saz. I'm interested in the story behind your vow – but I'm way more interested in you: the guy behind the fringe and the silence. Girls get shy too y'know... that's why I understand how it's easier to write down things you're too scared to say out loud. Maybe we could meet up sometime and you could tell me your story?_

And then... An email address! A cell phone number!

Dwayne kicked the table again, spilling hot coffee all over it. He was too high to care. Clutching his sacred napkin he ran out the back door and halfway down the back alley.

Breathless from his thundering heart he leaned his head against the wall. When he'd gathered his wits he looked up, suddenly overwhelmed by an overpowering, unbearable urge.

There was no one here. Even if there was, who'd notice, who'd care? Nobody would know...

Only Dwayne would know. His breath came quick and his cheeks were flushed with the effort – physical effort, who knew it would be this hard?

Dwayne breathed in deep, trying to master himself, gain control.

But instead of a breathy exhalation something else whispered through the air, so quick it could have been a breeze on the wind.

"I'm in love. "

He moved towards the bustling street, thinking about how words when seldom spoken were a delicious treat. He moved back towards his bizarre family, and his everyday life, full of drudgery to the obnoxious queue jumpers of his world.

But Dwayne didn't think of those things. He thought only of the two loves of his life: Silence and Sarah.

_So silence has a lot of pros_, mused Dwayne Hoover as he sauntered out of the back alley behind a Coffee shop. _The biggest con is, it's never going to last forever_.

**I was thinking. Dwayne's a simple soul – he'd like his girls quirky and his coffee black!**

**Love? Hate? Indifferent? Please review, it makes me smile. xx**


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